Week 3 and 4

Apologies to the people who have been reading my blog since I started posting four weeks ago and for those who're probably, and quite rightly, wondering if I'm still alive or not! Well, I'm dead - bye(!) Let's just say, I've a lot on my mind lately and it's not been easy - still, Sherlock says I'm still alive, so that's the main thing ;)

I will try my best to summarise what I've experienced during the past two weeks, although I must stress it has been difficult to remember exactly what little changes have occured - even as they happen on the day. And because I feel there have been lots of little changes, and all occuring for the first time in my life, it makes it doubly hard for me to express them into words.

However, as I read back on the previous posts, I can now say that I can entirely distinguish between a car, a bus, a van, a truck, a train and an aeroplane in the sky. The sickening thing is; I live by the sea and have not yet ventured to listen to a hovercraft, let alone a motorised boat.

I played golf with my grandfather, Fred. As you would expect of a golf course, they are mostly set in the quiet fields of nowhere. Did I say quiet? As I was walking, whether be it on the fairway, on the green or in the rough (mostly the latter!) I noticed myself giggling at a bunch of different things. What was I giggling at? Nothing could possibly be remotely funny by banging a ball down some stretch of grass and hoping it don't hit some duck crossing the fairway, despite it should hear the 'TWACK!' of my club and just...well, fly away. So what was funny?
Ah. Sounds. Of course. But SMALL sounds...

It's been a long time since I heard anything at all, so to hear the simplest/faintest/softest of sounds and recognise it always brings a reminder of how surprisingly well the CI has been working on me so far.

On the golf course, I'd hear my feet shuffling along the grass; a family of magpies 'chattering' away in a tree 300 yards down a fairway; an aeroplane flying overhead; a tractor idling in the fields; Fred speaking to me from the other side of the fairway; the clanging noise the clubs as you take them in and out of the bag;...really, I could think of more, but you've probably got the general idea of why it was a good day for me!

It was a 'giggling experience' because I could hear the faintest of sounds that I could never have done before, even during the good use of my hearing aids. I could feel, in jumps of confidence, that everything to do with sounds can only improve, thus giving me more freedom to live as happiest a life as possible.

I attended the second mapping session at the CI Centre. It was a good session. I was tested again on the Audiogram but with a slightly higher-volume program than the previous test (25?-45 decibels). The test results this time showed I am bordering along the 25 to 35 decibel range so we were all happy with this, as some pitches were being better perceived.

I was given three changes of programs; two being set at 50/50 (sounds received in both the earhook microphone and the uppermost microphone: good for all sounds at once?) and at different volumes; the other on the 'aux' setting (earhook microphone only: good for telephone calls)

We also did some more speech recognition tests. Despite the fact we were in a quiet environment and that they spoke with clear, deliberate pronouciation, there has been a significant improvement, since Day 1, of my understanding speech with their mouth being covered. This, for me, is very exciting.

Im enjoying music even more, now. I find myself listening to music at a very long stretch of time, before feeling tired. Before, I'd only whack on one album at a time, whereas now I must go through 5 or 6 albums!

So far, I've mostly listened to my old collection of albums (like Leftfield, Prodigy, Chemical Brothers, etc), but have also been listening to likes of Ray Charles, Milt Jackson, Jools Holland and Thelonious Monk, to mention but a few.

My appreciation for a variety of music now is much more broader than ever - perhaps this is because I hear music differently to before, but still somewhat the same excitment and relaxation.

I start work again at the Tiger Tiger restaurant 4th December - I can't wait for this. I feel I'm ready as ever to tackle the world again and express my true self.

There will be many times, of course, when people in general may have to repeat their sentences for me (especially in the noisy kitchen!) but it'll be far less than before and more likely they won't have to write things down for me, either! We'll see...

I think this is it for now, so until next time... ;)

Rest in Peace, Studely...

I felt compelled to write this and publically display my respects to a work colleague, Ian 'Studely' Cadwallador, who died Sunday 5th November. It was very sad to hear that Ian, 35 years of age, was murdered at knife point, on the street, in the early hours of Sunday morning.

I wish Ian's family a speedy recovery from this awful, shocking loss. Ian will always be remembered, at his workplace, for his unique humour and laughter, as well as being a hard working and commited colleague.

Rest In Peace, Studely.

Week 2

Last week, Monday, I had arranged to meet my two brothers, Joe and Leo, with my Dad for a coupla drinks and a few games of pool. It was my first time I've seen Joe and also the first time I've played pool since the switch-on. I was surprised in several ways as to what playing pool at the 'Pool Pit' was really like...with sound.

Firstly, I discovered that the jukebox plays random tracks, and most of them are utterly shite, nearly prompting me to switch off.

Secondly, in nature of playing doubles at pool, I never realised how much Joe tells Dad, his doubles partner, what to do: 'Ere, Dad - go for this one into this pocket and try do some backspin to set yourself up for that one, and then after that you'd be able to do THIS one and, hey presto, we can win this game'. To which my Dad quite rightly said, 'No pressure then(!)', but adding, 'Want me to pot this one first, y'say?'. God help me...

Thirdly, I was generally surprised at how the voices of everybody seem to be heard fairly loudly over the music (and over almost anything else, so far) even if that person was standing at the other end of the table. I was constantly reminded how I would never have expected this ease, giving me more confidence to interrupt conversations and say my bit, ask questions, etc - something of which I've not done for 7 or 8 years. Even Joe said, 'Blimey! Russ is joining in here...!' It felt good. Really good. Finally, I have that connection back with my own family.

Not a lot has happened this week. But I can comment on the fact that I was listening to some more Prodigy in my bedroom, upstairs. The Hi-Fi's setting was only set at 20% of it's full volume. I decided to go downstairs to get some water. As I was climbing down the stairs I was still hearing the music fairly 'loudly'. At the bottom of the stairs, I was still following the music. Through the living room, the music was still being heard! I thought I was dreaming. I checked my ears just make sure God hasn't put on a pair of headphones on my head, or that I'm suddenly an owner of an i-Pod. Nothing. I felt like I was dreaming. I finally couldn't hear the music when I got into the kitchen...but...I then switched program to it's highest setting, turned the volume dial up to it's full and then..."TSSH! BOOM! BOOM! TSSH! BOOM! TSSH! BOOM! BOOM! TSSH! BOOM...!" - I couldn't believe my...um...ear. It was a joy.

I did some refurbishment work at my Dad's house on Thursday and one of the tasks needed doing was the sand down the inside doors. Dad has a motorised, plug-in, electrical sander. I switched it on: 'BRRRRAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!' Man, switch it off! Silence....my thumb hovered over the 'On' button...I pressed it, again: 'BRRRRAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!' - OFFF!! This time; my ear piece off. There was no way I was gonna waste battery just for a load of 'BRRRRAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!'. Forget that... ;/

Oh. This weekend Hallowe'en/Guy Fawkes' time. So, lots of fireworks. It seems I hear a firework that's been set off 50 miles down the road. Not really. But there're so many different sounds from fireworks that it's almost as though it's...crap music?

This week, TV has become noticably clearer, and there are more and more words from a variety of people whom I'm beginning to rely less of the subtitles with. Conversations with the closest people in my family; Mum, Fred, Dad, is becoming easier. There are moments when I'm looking away from them, and as they speak I'm beginning to understanding them little by little. I have not tried the phone or radio this week, although I am very intrigued to see how it would work when the time comes.

This week, I went back to the C.I Centre in London for a 'mapping' session. After a few questions and a few fiddles of program settings, I was then tested in the audiology room. It was very strange listening to the sounds of the test. So strange that I sometimes wasn't sure if certain 'sounds' was actually part of the test. Maybe it's my tinnitus again - it has the tendancy to 'copy' sounds if I'm 'listening' hard. But I was told that I was hearing sounds that my hearing aids never picked up before so it could be why I wasn't sure. I was surprised to see my level of decibels was improved to as high as 25 to 45. Next time, we will do another test with the same program to see if my tolerance require a higher setting. I think Melissa/Jennifer would like to see me able to receive sounds in the 20 decibels range. Can't be entirely sure, but that would be nice!

This is it for now. Have a good week! Til next time... ;)